Eating Disorders: How To Help Your Friend
It's not easy to watch someone you care about damaging his or her health when the solution seems so simple. According to Beat, 1.25 million people in the UK are affected by eating disorders so it's a really serious issue.
Most of the time the person struggling just needs to know that if they want to talk, they can, and where you might not be the cure, you might be one factor contributing to their road to recovery.
Here are some steps to take if you don't know where to start:
- Educate yourself
Researching the issue will help you understand what's going on and how you can support them - Beat (beating eating disorders) is a good place to start.
- Focus on feelings & relationships
Saying "tell me how you're feeling, I'll probably understandmore than you think" puts you on your friend's level and is less intimidating than asking what is wrong with them.
- Let them vent
Offering a solution will add unnecessary pressure. Let your friend know they can reach out to you and ask, "how can I support you?". Talking in a quiet, comfortable place will make it easier for them to open up.
- Time to do something?
If their behaviour persists tell them why you're worried. "I" phrases like "I feel like you might be in trouble" or "it makes me worried" avoids putting blame on them. Say what you'd like them to do (e.g. see a GP) & offer to go with them.
- Hearing but not listening
If the situation persists it might be time to bring in another party. Just be sure to tell them, "I really care about you, so I'm going to contact your...mum? GP?"
- Don't give a time limit
Be in it for the long haul, or not at all. If your friend is taking longer than you thought to recover, keep confident that they will overcome this and ask them how much they want you involved.
- Be encouraging
Stay upbeat and do things to take their mind away from the problem. Watch a film, go for a walk? A breath of fresh air might be a nice momentary relief if nothing else. But if they resist, don't push it.
- Get support
Supporting someone can be hard. Make sure you're taking care of your own wellbeing first and surround yourself with friends so you can give the best support you can.
It's difficult to bring up such a delicate subject but don’t let this keep you from voicing your concern; your friend might be struggling as much as you are to kickstart the conversation.
Want to talk? Don't forget your University counselling service and Student Services are always here for you.