Communication, Consideration & Compromise: solving flatmate disputes

1. Communication: Talk It Out

Be Open and Honest

• Find the Right Time: Approach your flatmate when neither of you are rushed or stressed. Avoid bringing up issues during tense moments.
• Use “I” Statements: Frame your concerns from your perspective. For example, "I feel frustrated when the kitchen is left messy," instead of "You never clean up."
• Listen Actively: Give your flatmate a chance to share their side without interrupting. Sometimes, misunderstandings can be resolved just by listening.

Regular Check-Ins

• Flat Meetings: Schedule regular flat meetings to discuss any issues before they become big problems. This can be a weekly or bi-weekly sit-down where everyone can voice their thoughts.
• Group Chats: Use a group chat to communicate smaller issues or reminders only - don't use this as a space to air problems, face to face is always better. Just be sure to keep the tone light and friendly to avoid misunderstandings.

2. Consideration: Think About Others

Respect Shared Spaces

• Clean Up After Yourself: This might seem obvious, but it’s easy to forget. Make it a habit to clean as you go, especially in shared spaces like the kitchen and bathroom.
• Noise Levels: Be mindful of the noise you make, especially late at night or early in the morning. Use headphones for music or TV and keep conversations at a reasonable volume.

Be Mindful of Differences

• Cultural Sensitivity: Remember, your flatmates might come from different cultural backgrounds with different norms and practices. Be open to learning and adapting where necessary.
• Personal Space: Respect each other’s personal space and privacy. Knock before entering someone’s room and understand that sometimes people just need time alone.

3. Compromise: Find the Middle Ground

Set Ground Rules

• Create a Chore Chart: Agree on a fair system for shared responsibilities like cleaning, taking out the trash, and doing the dishes. This helps ensure everyone contributes equally.
• Agree on Quiet Hours: Decide on reasonable quiet hours that suit everyone’s schedules. This can prevent conflicts about noise at inconvenient times.

Be Willing to Flex

• Pick Your Battles: Not every issue needs to be a big deal. Sometimes it’s okay to let the small things slide if they’re not impacting you significantly.
• Give and Take: Be prepared to make compromises. If you’re asking for something from your flatmate, be ready to offer something in return.

When You Need Extra Help

Sometimes, even with the best efforts, it can be tough to find a resolution. If your flat’s relationship is starting to slip or you can’t find a compromise, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Your Res Life team is on hand to help mediate in a non-judgmental and unbiased way. They can provide guidance and facilitate discussions to help your flat come to a resolution. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness!

Living with others is a valuable learning experience that teaches you a lot about yourself and about cooperation. By focusing on Communication, Consideration, and Compromise, you can create a harmonious living environment that makes your student accommodation feel like home.

Remember, the key to resolving disputes is to approach them with a positive attitude and a willingness to understand and work with your flatmates. You've got this!